My New Favorite Abstract

So last night my theoretical plans didn't work out and I had a mini-existential crisis "What am I doing with my life?...Where do I want to get a job?...Will I ever find a job?...What kind of job do I even want?...and... It's another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody." (Which isn't actually true, it was Friday night, and I do actually have somebody).
I was switching between reading Harry Potter en español and looking for jobs online at the time and felt antsy to do something. What to do? Then a light bulb went off.

I'M A PAINTER, duh.

So I grabbed some delicious wine (of the red variety) and started on a new painting.
I had recently told myself that my next painting would be a practice in realism, but after a glass of wine it becomes difficult to focus-- yeah, imagine how long it took to paint My Malbec-- so I decided to just wait until the next next painting to try my hand at realism.
This was the end result of a few glasses of wine, "Of Monsters and Men" Pandora radio station which mysteriously turned into Dubstep "Skrillex" Pandora radio station, and some ideas I was pondering that I wrote at the bottom so you don't have to read a ton of stuff in one shot.

The Inside (20x30)

I actually had a concept in mind while painting this. I thought about all the negative and positive influences that surround us and how we're all inherently good, but we have a lot to stand up against, including our own self-defeating thoughts. I was going to explain the imagery in this, but I'd prefer you make up your own meaning for the imagery. The beauty of abstract work is that it means something different for every single person who looks at it.